Old posting... but still it will make you laugh.
CAPITALISM AT ITS FINEST
TRADITIONAL
CAPITALISM:
You have
two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd
multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell
them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN
CORPORATION:
You have
two cows.
You sell
one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You are
surprised when the cow drops dead.
ENRON
VENTURE CAPITALISM:
You have
two cows.
You sell three
of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by
your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap
with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with
a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are
transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned
by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to
your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows,
with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the
United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet is provided
with the release. The public buys your bull.
A FRENCH
CORPORATION:
You
have two cows.
You go on
strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE
CORPORATION:
You have
two cows.
You
redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then
create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market
them World-Wide.
A GERMAN
CORPORATION:
You have
two cows.
You
reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
themselves.
A BRITISH
CORPORATION:
You have
two cows.
Both are
mad.
AN ITALIAN
CORPORATION:
You have
two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You break
for lunch.
A RUSSIAN
CORPORATION:
You have
two cows.
You count
them and learn you have five cows.
You count
them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count
them again and learn you have 12 cows.
You stop counting
cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS
CORPORATION:
You have
5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge
others for storing them.
A HINDU
CORPORATION:
You have
two cows.
You worship
them.
A CHINESE
CORPORATION:
You have
two cows.
You have
300 people milking them.
You claim
full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported
the numbers.
AN ISRAELI
CORPORATION:
So, there
are these two Jewish cows, right?
They open a
milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights.
They send
their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, you should complain?
AN ARKANSAS
CORPORATION:
You have
two cows.
That one on
the left is kinda cute...
